Tag: language-learning

[AEE] Episode 2503: 3 Powerful Tips for Thriving in a New Language by Ingrid Piller

Whether you’re starting over in a new country or learning a language for daily life, Ingrid Piller, author of Life in a New Language, shares three essential insights from her decades of research with immigrants.

These are not your usual grammar tips. These are life strategies for real-world language growth.

1. Learning a Language Means Becoming a New Version of Yourself

“It’s not just about language. It’s about becoming a new person.”

📌 What It Means: Language learning is not only about passing tests like IELTS or TOEFL. It is about creating a new identity in a new culture, with new ways of thinking and interacting.

✅ How to Use It:

  • Be open to change in how you express yourself and how others see you.
  • Understand that your personality might shift when speaking a new language.
  • Don’t try to keep everything the same. Growth is part of the process.

💬 Try This: Think about how your voice or humor changes in your new language. Accept it as part of who you are becoming.

2. Step Outside Your Comfort Zone and Talk to People

“You have to put yourself out there. Even if it’s awkward.”

📌 What It Means: You can’t learn to speak well by staying silent or relying only on language apps. Real conversation is where the real learning happens.

✅ How to Use It:

  • Make small talk at the grocery store or while waiting for the bus.
  • Don’t worry about mistakes. Focus on the connection.
  • Build casual friendships with people who will talk to you regularly.

💬 Try This: Make it a habit to speak with one new person each day, even if it’s just a quick hello or comment.

3. Be Patient. Fluency and Belonging Take Time

“You’re playing a long-term game.”

📌 What It Means: Language confidence and feeling at home won’t happen right away. They build slowly, through daily effort and time.

✅ How to Use It:

  • Give yourself permission to be a beginner.
  • Know that even advanced speakers still learn new things.
  • Focus on the relationships you are building, not just the grammar.

💬 Try This: Keep a language journal where you note your progress each week. Celebrate small wins.

🎯 Final Thought: Connection Is More Important Than Perfection

Ingrid Piller’s research reminds us that learning a new language is not just about speaking correctly. It is about creating a new life. That means finding your voice, your people, and your place in a new world.

If you’re learning a language today, be kind to yourself. You are not just learning new words. You are building a new version of your life.

🌟 Refined Daily Expressions & Idioms with Examples

These expressions from the script can elevate your real-world communication, especially for immigrants or long-term residents dealing with identity, communication, and belonging.

1. Put yourself out there

➤ Meaning: To take risks socially, even if it feels uncomfortable or intimidating.
➤ Example: “If you want to make new friends in your new country, you have to put yourself out there.”

2. Cold shoulder

➤ Meaning: To be ignored or treated with indifference.
➤ Example: “Sometimes when I try to talk to someone in English, I get the cold shoulder.”

3. Growing pains

➤ Meaning: The difficulties experienced in the process of change or growth.
➤ Example: “Learning a new language as an adult comes with growing pains, but it’s part of the process.”

4. Set yourself up for success

➤ Meaning: To take actions that increase your chances of achieving your goals.
➤ Example: “Immersing yourself in the local culture can really set you up for success.”

5. A sense of belonging

➤ Meaning: Feeling accepted and connected to a group or place.
➤ Example: “It took time, but I eventually found a sense of belonging in my new city.”

6. Play the long-term game

➤ Meaning: To have a long-term perspective and patience in pursuing goals.
➤ Example: “You’re playing a long-term game with language learning—it’s not going to happen overnight.”

7. Strike up a conversation

➤ Meaning: To start a conversation, often with a stranger.
➤ Example: “I tried to strike up a conversation while waiting for coffee.”

8. Stand out

➤ Meaning: To be noticeably different.
➤ Example: “Even after years in the country, my accent makes me stand out.”

9. Under siege

➤ Meaning: Feeling constantly attacked or pressured.
➤ Example: “Some migrants feel under siege when they’re frequently questioned about their origins.”

10. Get comfortable in a new language

➤ Meaning: To feel confident and natural using the language in daily life.
➤ Example: “It took years, but I finally got comfortable in my new language.”

🎭 Role Play Script

Here’s a short role play using expressions from the interview:

Characters:

  • Elena – A newcomer from Spain, recently moved to the U.S.
  • Maya – A long-term resident who immigrated from India 10 years ago.

Elena: Honestly, Maya, I thought I was ready. I’ve studied English for years. But out here… I don’t know. I feel like I stand out everywhere I go.
Maya: I totally get it. I went through the same thing. It takes time to get comfortable in a new language.
Elena: It’s not just the language. It’s like… I’m becoming a different person.
Maya: Exactly. You’re creating a new identity. And remember, you’re playing the long-term game here.
Elena: Still, sometimes I try to strike up a conversation and get the cold shoulder.
Maya: Oh yeah, that happens. But don’t take it personally. You’ve got to put yourself out there. The growing pains are real, but they pass.
Elena: I guess I just need to focus on building a sense of belonging.
Maya: Absolutely. Connect with people, even small chats at the store. Those water-cooler moments matter. Set yourself up for success by being present—even if it’s uncomfortable at first.
Elena: Thanks, Maya. You made me feel less alone.
Maya: You’re not under siege, Elena. You’re on your journey—and you’ve got this.

📝 Paragraph Using All the Expressions

Moving to a new country means playing the long-term game. It’s not just about mastering grammar—it’s about building a new identity and getting comfortable in a new language. There will be growing pains, like the awkward moments when you strike up a conversation and receive the cold shoulder. But to set yourself up for success, you need to put yourself out there. It’s natural to stand out at first, and sometimes that might make you feel under siege, especially if people constantly ask, “Where are you from?” Yet over time, by embracing those challenges and connecting with others, you’ll build a sense of belonging that makes all the effort worthwhile.

[AEE] Episode 1240: “Don’t Ask”: When English Idioms Say the Opposite of What They Mean

✨ Introduction

While listening to Episode 1240 of the All Ears English podcast—“Does ‘Don’t Ask’ Really Mean Don’t Ask?”—I realized how certain everyday English expressions can carry meanings that go far beyond their literal words.

Phrases like “Don’t ask,” “You don’t want to know,” “It’s a long story,” or “Have I got a story for you” might sound like emotional barriers at first glance. But in reality, they often serve as invitations to connect, opening the door to storytelling, empathy, and humor.

I wanted to dig deeper—not just into what these phrases mean, but how they actually function in natural conversation. So I broke them down, studied how they’re used, asked questions along the way, and came out with a better grasp of the rhythm and tone behind modern spoken English.

🔑 Refined Daily Expressions & Idioms (with Examples)

Here are five common expressions discussed in the podcast that may not mean what they seem to mean:

1. Don’t ask

Used to imply that something went terribly wrong or was chaotic, but often ironically used to invite a follow-up question.
Example:
– How was your Monday?
– Don’t ask. Everything that could go wrong, did.

2. You don’t want to know

A humorous or sarcastic way of saying the story is unpleasant or messy.
Example:
– How did your date go?
– You don’t want to know. Let’s just say I tripped over a candle.

3. Are you sure you want to know?

Used to test whether someone really wants the messy or dramatic details—also builds curiosity.
Example:
– How was the parent-teacher conference?
– Are you sure you want to know? It turned into a 45-minute debate about snacks.

4. It’s a long story

Signals that a complex or dramatic explanation is coming—often used to ease into storytelling.
Example:
– Why did you come in late today?
– It’s a long story. Let’s just say the subway and a stray dog were involved.

5. Have I got a story for you

A dramatic opener to grab attention and signal something wild, funny, or unbelievable is about to be told.
Example:
– You look exhausted. What happened?
– Oh, have I got a story for you.

🎭 Role Play Example (From the Podcast)

Here’s a quick role play the podcast hosts used to demonstrate how these expressions appear in real conversation:

Context: Friends catching up after summer break.

Michelle: So, how was your summer?
Aubrey: Oh, don’t ask. It was good, but just so chaotic.
Michelle: Really? What happened?
Aubrey: Are you sure you want to know?
Michelle: I think so.
Aubrey: It’s a long story. Sit down. Let’s catch up.
Michelle: Okay. I’ve got time.

🧩 Paragraph Using All the Expressions

To practice these expressions and internalize their tone and rhythm, I created a short paragraph combining all five in a natural flow:

When I ran into Julia at the coffee shop and asked how her move went, she just laughed and said, “Don’t ask.” Naturally, I had to follow up, and she sighed, “Are you sure you want to know?” I nodded, already intrigued. “It’s a long story,” she warned, motioning for me to sit. “Let’s just say the movers showed up two days late, the elevator broke, and my cat escaped halfway through. You don’t want to know how I finally found him.” At that point, she leaned in and added, “Have I got a story for you—you’re not going to believe what happened when I tried to get the power turned on.”

🔍 What I Wanted to Know — And What I Learned

As I worked through this material, I had several questions—and answering them deepened my understanding of how English works between the lines.

🔸 Why “Have I got a story for you” instead of “I have a story”?

This unusual phrasing confused me at first. But I learned that “Have I got…” is an idiomatic, dramatic expression often used in American English to grab attention. It’s not a grammar mistake—it’s an emotional hook. You’ll hear this in sales pitches, dramatic stories, or comedy:

“Have I got news for you…”
“Have I got a deal you won’t believe…”

It’s all about the tone, not structure.

🔸 What does “motioning for me to sit” mean?

This phrase refers to a nonverbal cue—a gesture like pointing to a chair or waving a hand that invites someone to sit down. It’s subtle, but it sets the scene. In English, gestures are often built into storytelling:

“She motioned for me to sit.”
“He waved me over.”

They create rhythm and visual interest in dialogue.

🔸 Does “my cat escaped halfway through” mean the cat was missing for half the time?

No—it means the cat escaped in the middle of an event, such as the moving process.
“Halfway through” means during the middle point of something happening. For example:

“I fell asleep halfway through the movie.”
“She left halfway through the meeting.”

🔸 What’s the nuance of “She leaned in and added”?

This is more than a physical movement—it’s a storytelling signal. It suggests the speaker is about to say something important, juicy, or dramatic.
It creates intimacy and tension, like saying, “Listen closely…”

🎯 Final Thoughts: Why This Matters

Learning idioms like these isn’t just about vocabulary—it’s about learning how people invite connection, set the mood, and build trust through conversation.

When someone says, “Don’t ask,” they’re often hoping you will.
When they say, “It’s a long story,” they’re checking if you’re really listening.

Understanding these subtle cues makes me not only a better English speaker—but a better listener, too.

If you’re learning English, or just trying to sound more natural in conversation, I highly recommend checking out All Ears English — their episodes offer insights that go way beyond textbooks.